Being a girl is hard.



Being a girl is hard.  After going 3 years without my cycle (sorry if that’s an over share.. it is what it is) I’m finding that “becoming a woman again” is not for the faint of heart.. and quite frankly, I think it’s harder the second time around!  I don’t remember things being this cray cray when I was 12.


(by the way, if you don’t know what I’m talking about …  A few weeks ago I finally wrote about my recovery from hypothyroidism – if you didn’t read that you can catch up here, as this is somewhat of a continuation)


Anywho, things were going along just fine until one morning I woke up looking like Mickey Rourke.


I know you think I’m exaggerating, but I swear.  I wish I would’ve had the forethought to take a picture so you could A/B them… you’d swear we were siblings.  And that my friends was the first indicator that this was going to get UGLY.


As the days went on I started to get puffier (6lbs of water retention – GASP!).  Thank goodness for Maxi dresses and yoga pants.  My legs were swollen, I was bloated, I was exhausted, and I was STARVING which was just the icing on the preverbal cake.. it also happened to be the only thing I could think about.  CAKE.   Since I was exhausted I decided to lay down for about 15 minutes… 3 hours later I woke up!  And then I slept for 10 hours that night.


So naturally I turned into those one of those women who google things until they find the answer they want.  Surely I had to be dying or have contracted some sort of super rare disease from another country?!  Either that or there is definitely and alien living inside me – she says to herself as she stands in her kitchen, in her underwear, doused in magnesium oil, and eating Banana’s Foster Shakeology out of the blender with a spoon.  Oy vey.  #ThatReallyHappened


Now I know that things are extra rough for my hormones right now as they’re trying to figure out what the heck is going on, get back in balance, and get back in a rhythm.  Ok.. I don’t actually know that.. my buddy Ari told me that as he tried to gently guide me back to sanity.   I was a little high maintenance during all this and he told me I wasn’t crazy, reminded me that this is all part of my journey to full and COMPLETE health, plus he made me laugh.. Bonus! He’s a keeper!


Nevertheless, the google search continues and I’ll be real with you… I was mostly concerned with the water retention, and by concerned, I mean pissed.  6lbs?!  So rude, and so annoying!   Oddly enough I’m finding that there are millions of women going thru the same thing as me, except they’re not convinced they’re dying because this happens to them EVERY MONTH!  Efff.  <– my reaction.   This is … wait for it… dun dun dun… PMS.  I truly don’t remember PMS being this intense when I was younger!


At this point I don’t know how well you know me, but I don’t give up easily and I won’t go down without a fight.  So I text my friend asking if this is normal, she said yes, and now I’m questioning her mental stability, haha!   This is in no way “normal”.. this is hideous.  So I asked another friend and she confirmed..  this going to happen EVERY month!  Crap.  Being a girl is hard.  I did not appreciate those 3 years nearly as much as I should have!


Levi’s birthday was during all of this and I’m sure I was both a joy and a pleasure to be around 😉  I did end up getting cake – thank God!  I ate so much cake.  Then I eyeballed Levi like a lioness watches a wildebeest, as he finished his cake.  Jerk.   Eating his own birthday cake like that!  lol!!



I’m back to “me” now..  HOORAY!!!   All those cray cray hormones have come and gone, and you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be enjoying every single moment of the next 2.5-3 weeks, or however long I get until the next alien.  Overnight my bloating, water retention, exhaustion, and hunger went away.. Praise God!!!  But it all leaves me wondering.. why isn’t there more help and more support for us lovely ladies?  I’m tellin ya.. I was ALL OVER the internet looking for helpful information and there really wasn’t any.. well, if you’re looking for a natural alternative anyway.  I’m just now starting to find some cool natural remedies that I’m going to try, but until then, Pamprin with a little extra Ibuprofen is going to have to do.


If you have natural remedies or have had a similar experience, I would love to hear from you!!  Leave me a comment below!

8 replies
  1. Katy says:

    Hahaha I went without Mother Nature for two years due to birth control, but now that I’m back to normal I have picked up my old remedy from whole foods. A supplement called aunt flow! It worked wonders for me and all the that crappy PMS!

  2. Alicia Rose Aerni says:

    I take a vitamin called Evening Primrose Oil and it helps so much with cramps. I take one a day when I’m not on my period and 2-3 when I am. It takes a few weeks for your body to get used to it but I tell you it has done wonders for the cramps.

  3. michelle says:

    Too funny! You have obviously never had a baby … gets worse . It will actually b an alien or gremlin as i call it inside you.

  4. Wendy says:

    Not sure if you are wanting to be on birth control, but currently I’m on a BC that just has me cycle 3-4 times a year. As a person that PMS’s like a psycho hosebeast, this is a God send! I’m also going to check out the aunt flow that was mentioned!

  5. Kayla Rochon says:

    So far my best help for bloating was a super tight pair of spanx (or other name brand) and sometimes I pull out my “belly band” (that I use for my post c-section core work outs) and put that on for comfort. I know how bad the bloat can be, I gain 10 lbs of water almost over night and it gets painful. I hope this helps you as much as it’s helped me, good luck!


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